WRITING COMPETITION RESULTS FOR NOVEMBER.
The November Writing Competition has just concluded with yet another high-quality round of writing. Classwork made up the majority of entries across the various subject areas, with a lot of entries from the Senior Campus. November brings the writing competitions to an end for 2022 and I would like to thank all students who entered. I look forward to reading your entries in 2023. With that in mind, the winners in the month of November are:
Year 8: Tristan Fegradoe.
Year 9: Raphaella Thimiopoulos-Wilson.
Year 10: Rayna Rao.
Year 11: Aaryan Singh and Priyansha Krishna.
Each winner receives a $20 Teen gift voucher.
Below are some samples of writing from November. Fonts have not been altered to preserve the intentions and originality of the student work. Thank you to those who entered. I look forward to receiving your submissions next year.
Tristan Fegradoe (Year 8) –
Down the Snowflakes Fall.
Down the snowflakes fall
Where the town has its Christmas fall
Oh what a jolly good time
Oh it's a good time for those bells to chime
It’s almost time for that time of the year
The Christmas fall which everyone holds dear
Getting ready for a night so fun
Making snacks like cookies and buns
The decorations are up
The snacks are ready
Time to pour the milk in the cup
Time to be ready for the big and jolly teddy
The Christmas fall had finally started
Everyone dancing around
People choosing who’d where the crown
Soon the 2 were chosen and crowned the snow king and queen of the Christmas fall
Suddenly, snowflakes had came
And with it came the jolly old man with all his glory and fame
Santa had finally came
To the place where everyone knew his name
He knew if you were bad or good
He had given presents to those who were good and coal to those who were bad
Down the snowflakes fell
And with them the joy of Christmas
Raphaella Thimiopoulos-Wilson (Year 9) – Extract from a Class essay.
“We are shaped by where we grow up, though that shaping takes different forms.”
The forces that shape us through maturity are most powerful when in the form of an idea. The bildungsroman Divergent demonstrates this as part of reflecting how “We are shaped by where we grow up, though that shaping takes different forms.” The four phases of Beatrice’s bildungsroman reflect how she moves from someone who is compliant, to someone who becomes confident, defiant and wise enough to select which forces should shape their growth.
Ideas are a powerful force for shaping people when growing. Particularly, subjects that are growing up are malleable. Roth’s protagonist Beatrice Prior epitomises this in her experiences as a humble Abnegation citizen. She is unable to entertain any degree of individuality through mirrors, clothing or concern for self. She comes to this realisation later in the novel when threatening Peter: ‘People tend to overestimate my character,’ I say quietly. ‘They think that because I’m small, or a girl, or a Stiff, I can’t possibly be cruel. But they’re wrong.’ Here, Tris’s use of tricolon emphasises her subjectivity to her external image. As a girl who is of Abnegation, she is disempowered by stereotypes in her context that effectively shape her into someone who is weak and powerless. In this way, disempowerment is represented as an ideal for her that she must aspire to at the expense of her humanity. Roth reveals this to emphasise the lack of expectation of Tris, due to the faction that she was brought up within, Abnegation.
Nevertheless, the most powerful ideas that constructively shape our growth are ones our context holds about identity. Beatrice Prior's upbringing in the unjustly treated Abnegation faction and the elitist Dauntless faction reveal the protagonist’s growth being subject to ideals about how she should be. Tris’s induction to Dauntless saw her develop her identity into one that she felt was more authentic. This gave her the freedom to, not only express her individuality but also reflect on her previous life in Abnegation. Growing up in Dauntless adequately shaped the Tris with ideals of elitist individuality. When she recounts jumping off the roof, she reflects “I didn’t jump off the roof because I wanted to be like the Dauntless. I jumped off because I already was like them, and I wanted to show myself to them. I wanted to acknowledge a part of myself that Abnegation demanded that I hide.” Tris’s personification of Abnegation as coercive reflects how its discipline shaped Tris’s growth by inhibiting it. However, the symbolism of her jumping from the roof reflects the freedom that allows her to be in a way that is more palatable to her ideals of personal expression. The bravado in her tone conveys her sense of superiority. As the end product of her experience in her two factions, Tris’s words reveal how the two factions’ shaping of her identity has made her a rounded character. She has taken on the elite individual ideals of Dauntless but also retained the discipline of Abnegation in the way she acts without recklessness.
Euleila Barret (Year 10) -
“Those Days”
What happened to the days of freedom,
To the days of endless bliss of boredom,
Primary school, singing, skipping, sailing past the days through K to 6
Those were the days of the past
Present now, we go through struggle
Every day a piece of an endless puzzle
Enter class, a demand to submit
For we must ‘submit’ before we leave
Like obedient dogs for the ball
A simple bell for our recall
Ding Ding Ding
High School, High rules, High fools
Conformed for education
Ultimately still in starvation
For a chance to go back
Back to those days.
Frienczel Espino (Year 10) – Extract from a class essay.
Kath Walker or Oodgeroo Noonuccal’s life experiences revolve around her identity as an Indigenous Australian – her culture, hardships and discrimination as an Aborigine fuelled her passion for Aboriginal rights activism, and therefore influenced her work and what she had to say as a representative of her people who fought for change and their liberty.
A prominent example of the influence of Oodgeroo’s life experiences on what she had to say is in her poetic works.
In her biography, the difficulty of Indigenous life is described in her inability to pursue higher education and adequate employment as an Aboriginal, forcing her to work as a domestic servant for a white family. “She was disappointed that because she was black she could not do further study or find other work.” This prejudiced experience as an Indigenous person is only one of many that was the effect of British colonialism of the Aboriginal people, which would present them with nothing but discrimination and loss for the next centuries. Her work life alone expressed the great disadvantage that Indigenous people were to call their reality.
With experiences such as that, as an Aboriginal identity Oodgeroo embodied the pain, adversity and grief of her people since the arrival of the first fleet, which I hypothesise, enabled her to write poetry that was based off of an Aborigine viewpoint, a perspective that no other can project Aboriginal emotion and suffering more accurately. Her experiences as an Indigenous Australian leads me to expect that her poetry will articulate the injustices and emotions of Aboriginal people, putting into words their longing for freedom, the loss of their culture, language and people, the savage treatment they received from the British and isolation from the white Australians. Oodgeroo Noonuccal will illustrate in her eloquent writing the hindrance of her people’s connection with their land as a result of their segregation in the nation.
Rayna Rao (Year 10) -
Nothing is everything
You're sitting alone on the balcony of your apartment
all isolated. The sun is just setting below the horizon of the
gaping cityscape, and the luminous stars are beginning to
glimpse through the dark abyss of the sky. You are astonished
because it is very rare light pollution in your
populous city. As you lean up against the braided fencing,
painted a silvery metallic shade, you close your eyes and
begin to sing a melancholy tune, knowing that within the
next few minutes, the city you've called your home for your
entire life will be overrun with water from the nearest sea,
the Atlantic. You feel your eyes start to saturate as you
hear distant screams, and you know what is happening.
The tear on your cheek gracefully glides down, radiating in
the final light of the sun, the salty drop falling to the metal
railing. Over all the years of pollution, the earth finally took
a chance and is crumbling via human devastation.
There's nothing anyone can do to change it now, all you can
do is wait. Wait for a silent end, an end that you accept.
You continue to sing, knowing that the water will overcome
your home, your life, and your dreams. All of the sudden, you
hear a response to your tune. Someone on the opposite
side of your street begins to sing along with you in
harmony. You open your eyes and gaze at them, slightly
smiling. As you study their face, they appear to be a
feminine figure, with luscious brown hair, and a gentle
aroma. They appear to be sitting on the very edge of their
balcony, parallel to you, the water just feet below their legs,
dangling without care. You realise that if this wasn't the
end, maybe you could've gotten to know them better.
Maybe you could have had a friendship, a possible
relationship- but now nothing is everything. Even within
these few minutes, you come to an understanding with
them. You both seem to accept the horrendous fate that has
come and know neither of you can change a thing. As the
cascading water slowly creeps closer and closer to you,
you join the figure and dangle your legs off of your balcony,
sitting on top of the fence. You slowly stop singing.
"This is the end," you quietly say, the feminine silhouette,
now quiet as well, nodding in response.
"Thank you," they appreciatively respond.
As the water slowly rises past your shins and to your
kneecaps, you notice everything below the surface, floating
as if there was zero gravity in the surprisingly clear water.
You watch your hometown slowly submerge into the water,
and sing one more verse of the song, the water now up to
your chest. Your final moments are surrounded by the
contentment of your voice.
Priyansha Krishna (Year 11) – Extract from a class Business Studies Report.
1. Executive summary
Mottle Brown Pty Ltd is a Sydney-based producer of garden and landscaping products and accessories. They have maintained their position as the leading producer of their products sold for the last 15 years. The main issue is Mottle Brown is facing high cost of wages and rent towards offices in regards to admin. They have also noticed that consumer queries and complaints have seen a long response time.
This report will inform Mottle Brown the following: how to achieve their strategic role of operations management; the influence of globalisation on the operations of the business; and the globalisation and services the operations of Mottle Brown.
Strategic role of operations management
Operations management is a crucial element of business functions - it works simultaneously with other business functions such as marketing, finance and human resources. The strategic role of operations refers to the level with which it can integrate alongside the effects of all key business areas. Cost leadership is the strategy where a business seeks to be competitive by having lower prices or being price-competitive in a market. Over the last 15 years Mottle Brown has maintained their position as leading producer - therefore production and pricing must be sustainable and fair to allow the business to become competitive.
The problem is that Mottle Brown has been conducting production of their goods in Taiwan and China for the past 10 years, this impacts the administrative and customer communications that are conducted in NSW. As for that the business is only paying workers a small wage since the product is being made in Taiwan and China, and with Mottle Brown facing high costs of wages and rent it makes it difficult for Mottle Brown to make their appearance from the outside look good. This can be a problem since production may be impacted and consumers may choose to go somewhere else since the background of the store is better. To improve Mottle Brown must work on controlling their spending and aim to possibly create products in NSW - where they are conducting administrative and customer communications.
0. Influence of globalisation
Globalisation is the removal of barriers of trade between nations. It can be characterised by an increasing integration between national economies and high degree of transfer of capital. This can allow greater opportunities and greater risks to a range of Australian businesses which can make a business struggle with progressing in their production.
Mottle Brown conducts their production overseas in Taiwan and China but administration and customer communications are done in NSW. Having production in Taiwan and China can be a relevantly adequate act since Mottle Brown is facing the problem of high costs of wages and rent for offices regarding the administrative component of their business. Wages for workers in Taiwan and China are non-expensive, meaning small amounts of money can be saved. The only problem with that would be that it would be cost-worthy to ship products to Australia and other places that sell Mottle Brown products.
However, Mottle Brown can also operate overseas for a few years. This will allow Mottle brown to reduce costs since most countries have no minimum wage and expenses are not as expensive. This can allow Mottle Brown to save money and disregard their primary issues.
Aaryan Singh (Year 11) – Extract from Darkness Awaits the Brightness.
The gloomy skies dispense a ray of light, the sun is abandoned most days. Days upon days
where the depressed clouds over power the light blue sky. People without faces are drawing
up their emotions. The trees are empty. Happiness is an emotional experience in fantasy
rather than reality. I'm apart from the other students, I'm different. I've been losing myself in
their judgments. Losing the ability to feel is making my tears wash away the brown from my
eyes and the red from my mouth and the black from my short hair. It's easy to see that they
all have bridges to each other's hearts while mine feels as if it is still in construction. I'm an
old album full of dust, ready for someone to listen to me. Nothing is out the ordinary until,
“Weirdo!” one yells with the act of humour within their voice.
“Redskin!” another shouts.
The broken pieces within my heart are still affected with every comment. Their laughter acts
as a tsunami, crashing my happiness. I can't do this, I can't keep going, I can't get up. Is it all
too much?
The local play is coming up, and the best writer could win a grand prize of seven thousand
dollars. Dragon breathing as people gathered around the school board to see all the play
writing posters, it felt as if they all had a light at the end of the tunnel. Tight spaces, those
with higher status move to the front as they are treated righteous. I was being shoved to the
back, just like my life they moved me to the back, reality slapped me so all I see is its back. It
feels as if everyone has a dislocated shoulder and that's why no one is reaching back.
Sione Tafea (Year 11) – Extract from Project Doomsday.
The roars of the engine illuminated the atmosphere, with the propellers slicing through each gust of air,
with the clumping of death having surrounded all spaces of freedom. As the paratrooper plane trembled at the very feet of its death, there sat ten highly trained military grade soldiers, prepared for battle. Although, for the tenth member of the aircraft however, sat a quite nervous individual skating rapidly unable to process what he is entering and what must be done. In awareness of Callahan’s uncomfortability and stressful quivering, Private Haystack had smirked whilst removing the prickly remains of the toothpick within his mouth to speak aloud and say “You need a cigarette there mate, you look like you've seen a ghost”. Callahan felt his eyes glaze upon him in laughter as he muttered in reply “No...no I stay away from those things”. As Haystack’s facial expression began to slowly fade, he stated confidently “You’ll be breathing in this smoke once I burnt Hitler’s bodies to a pile of crisps”.
Other Privates within the aircraft laughed in disbelief, each stating that they will be the one to finish this war, shoving each other to show dominance in masculinity. The aircraft had begun to tremble even greater than before at a more forcing rate, as each member had begun to motion from left-to-right in a continuous motion. Callahan had rapidly fallen short of his breath in the instance of this event as his heart raced to
catch its beat. The worn out aircraft had been meddled with its forces once again whilst various troopers, struggling to maintain their balance had looked to each other in distress and confusion upon whether this had been the wrath of the Germans fighting back or just turbulence structuring their thought process.
Sienna Dades (Year 11) - The Colour red.
The Colour Red
Red: a dichotomous representation of both the beautiful and the ugly. This colour puts meaning to unexplainable emotions and experiences; a colour under the authority of perception. As the ambassador of intense emotion, red poses as the ultimate communication alternative. For Valentine’s Day, it is the colour most used to convey the deep love one has for another. This is to such an extent that the red rose is exploited to reflect this in order to measure their exact depth of affection. Funny though, it has gained this title by being the same colour as the blood that flows within us - a rather unsettling thought. Yet, its ominous counterparts ward off even the most vigorous of people. A simple stop sign forces one to reconsider their next actions, and even the faintest red tinge ignites beliefs in the existence of evil. For all the good things this colour represents, people possess the tendency to focus on all its foreboding qualities. Perhaps it’s human instinct to heed warnings that pose a potential threat to our survival, but I cannot help except think… is it really a coincidence that we have chosen the colour of danger as the representative of love?
By depicting love through hues of crimson, poppy and cardinal, we have conditioned our minds to be cautious of it, however, the reason remains uncertain. Whether this is an issue of subliminal messaging or plain ignorance, it fails to take away from the complexity of the colour - if anything, it is merely an addition. Through a lens such as this one, one could get the sense that love is a dangerous thing, but through a more rose-tinted outlook it may also be said that danger is an essential part of love. We believe that there are many who would sacrifice something important to themselves for their family or friends, even if it means putting themselves in the way of a threat. The notion of going to hell and back for someone just goes to show that love and danger are one and the same, right? So when the most beautiful and the most ugly parts of something collide, what does it become? I mean, if polar opposites are meant to cross then was there really anything different between them to begin with? By looking closer at the connections between these perceptions, it reveals just how wonderfully vast this enigmatic colour actually is. So, what does the colour red mean to you?